The 10 Stages of January

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It’s that time of year again, the season of good intentions; carbs are banished, gym membership is at an all time high and the prosecco party is officially over, well for a month at least. Let’s be honest, come February our new years resolutions will almost certainly be 2019’s problem. I mean, whose crazy idea was dry January anyway? For now though, buckle up babes, in case you’ve forgotten, January goes a little like this..

New Year, New Me

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1st Jan – That new year motivation is at an all time high and it sounds a little something like this..”2018 is actually my year, summer bod here I come, also acai bowls look really tasty so I’ve totally got this..”

OMG I’m so healthy RN..

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2nd Jan – That first gym session has got you feeling all Olympic athlete, the new you is going strong..

Real life, what is this?

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5th Jan – Okay, really scraping the barrel for enthusiasm now, life was so much more fun last week when we were eating pies and drinking wine..  

So over it already..

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8th Jan – You’ve gone a whole weekend without takeaway’s and wine and you’re officially over it. Salads look way prettier on Instagram, you feel cheated, the old you was happy, the old you had a burger in your hand..

Send Coffee

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10th Jan – The struggle is real, send coffee..

Netflix and Hibernate 

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13th Jan – Two weekends into the month, it’s freezing outside and funds are painfully limited, all hail Netflix, literally, there has never been a better time to binge watch 8 series in the space of two days..

Treat Yourself!

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15th Jan – You’ve had the purse strings firmly tightened all month so a little treat won’t hurt, after-all it is sale season so you’re basically saving money, right? You deserve happiness this year and new clothes will make you happy..

Help me, I’m poor..

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20th Jan – That awkward moment when your pending payments start leaving your account.. at least you got pretty new things though..

Bringing the pro-sexy back! 

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 26th Jan – Dry January? Yeah, we done. It’s pay-day, without a doubt the best day of the month, time to bring the pro-sexy back!

Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries..

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31st Jan – The new you is as overrated as the kale and quinoa she’s eating, you gotta’ let her go, the old you was really great. Now pass us the cheese fries, we’re positively starving..

And there you have it, the 10 stages of January, good luck girls! See you on the other side!

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