Searching for summertime love? With temperatures set to soar we are getting set to take on the sunshine season dating game with a little help from our friend Dr Pam Spurr. With online dating on the rise, self-help and relationship expert Dr Pam is on hand with all you need to know when it comes to successful online dating, so listen up girls! It’s time to take note..
13 Must-knows About Online Dating
My inbox is full of dating dilemmas and sadly too many are online dating disasters.
From guys that lie on their profiles, to guys that expect you to dive into bed on the first whiff of a face-to-face meet-up.
Fine if that’s what you’re after. But when your profile clearly states you’re ‘looking for love’, it’s not.
Plus countless issues are revealed when you finally meet-up. His ‘cool pad’ is his mum’s home…he’s 36. And his personal hygiene explains why he’s never had a relationship, etc.
Just this week online dating research revealed worse. It found that if a guy blatantly mentions sex in initial messaging, he’s more likely to be a sexual predator.
Here are 13 ‘must-knows’ to make it a success:
*Get real – If his profile sounds perfect, it’s probably not. Deduct about 25% of all he says to get a more realistic picture!
*Get a profile edit – Before you post your profile get your bf to check it. They’ll remind you of your good qualities that you’re too modest to include.
*Looking for love – If after a serious relationship, don’t come across as a bunny boiler. Avoid saying you’re searching for the ‘love of your life’, your ‘baby-daddy’, etc.
But definitely say you’re looking for a relationship. This quickly weeds out most players. Beware it doesn’t weed out all of them.
*How to be taken seriously – One study found if your profile’s full of mentions of partying and drinking, you attract partiers. It’s common sense.
You can come across as fun – and liking a good time – without making it all about partying. Unless you want a party-boy.
*Keep it fairly short – More research found men spend 50% less time reading profiles, they won’t read long ones. Make it punchy and to the point.
*Don’t be obvious – Who doesn’t love puppies and picnics? Include something less obvious that you like doing. Make yourself stand out.
*Listen to your intuition – If you don’t like the message/s he sends you – too much about sex or too aggressive – discontinue contact. Simple!
*He says all the right things – The opposite of the last point. He seems to immediately say all the right things, he ‘gets’ you straight off. Again, beware, you might’ve struck lucky or he’s highly manipulative. Take it slowly.
*Keep it on your terms – You shouldn’t do online-dating if you can’t keep control of where messaging’s going. Remind yourself you’re in charge, you don’t have to be pressured into an IRL meeting (see last tip) until ready.
*Avoid over-enthusiasm – You might meet him on social media and not an app/site. Keep things chilled.
If mega-attracted to him it’s easy to start, e.g., ‘liking’ everything on his Facebook wall. It can look desperate so be sparing with likes.
*Understand ghosting – Ghosting is where he literally ceases all contact, he disappears. This might make you feel terrible, worthless, and unattractive. Scratch that!
Ghosting’s all about him and he simply isn’t worth any hurt feelings.
*The grass isn’t greener – Use caution about joining multiple apps/sites – you might find you’re constantly seeking someone ‘better’.
Time-limit how long you spend on apps/sites. Give someone, who seems to fit the bill, a chance. Stop worrying you might miss Mr Perfect. He doesn’t exist.
*Your ‘IRL’ rules – There’s tons of jargon online so Google it if you don’t know what he’s on about. IRL is a meeting ‘in real life’.
If you decide to meet up, meet in a safe place, let your bf/family know where you’re going. And don’t go home with him until you really know who he is. That takes time, just like old-school dating, remember that?