Your friends may hold your dating destiny in their hands! Self-help expert and dating coach, Dr Pam Spurr is on hand this week with her top tips for dating success as the cold weather season sets in! If you’re on the hunt for a winter bae, it’s time to listen up as your friends may hold the key to your future dating success in their hands. So, girls, get your squad and take note..
Your Friends May Hold Your Dating Destiny in Their Hands! Dating Success By self-help expert and dating coach Dr Pam Spurr
If you’re single and want to find love (I realise plenty of singles are happy staying single!) there’s one important thing to do: strengthen and value your friendships.
Dating research found that single women who had the most dating success had close friendships. You don’t to have a contacts book like the Kardashians. Nope, you just need one or two great friends.
Having a couple great friends boosts your self-esteem. Having good self-esteem means that you make better dating choices!
But too often we overlook how as single friends we can help each other on the singles scene. Here are six top tips to help you and your friends have fun dating and maybe find the one.
*Boost each other’s self-belief and belief in your friendship: The best dates happen when you’re feeling good. Let each other know your friendship rocks – that she rocks. There are plenty of men who’ll knock your confidence and picking yourself up is easier when you’ve got that foundation of friendship backing you up.
*Think before you make a move: You’re at a bar, scoping-out the man-talent. Your friend gets excited about someone she’s spotted – he’s hot and inwardly you think why didn’t I notice him first?
Friends can get competitive. Sometimes even getting the urge to say something critical of a guy to put her off. This reflects on you putting your insecurities before what’s important – being a good friend.
Be generous-spirited, she saw him first, don’t flirt with him.
*Be happy for her success: You and a friend have been single awhile then she starts seeing a guy she really likes. She’s buzzing, can’t stop talking about him – you know the situation.
Because you’re feeling envious do you rain on her dating-parade because you’re in a man-drought? Trying to get her away from him and doing things with you?
Again it’s not good for your friendship to do that. Instead support her in her new relationship.
*Be tactful about your good fortune: So you know what it’s like when, bam, your girlfriend finds someone (as above). So when it’s you that finds someone, be tactful to her if she’s still single.
Be aware of how much you talk about your new man. Yes, we all love a girly-chat about men – picking apart every detail – but think about her feelings.
*It’s not all about you: You’ve got someone hot chatting you up but it’s nearly 2 AM. Your friend’s been really good, standing by, one eye on the other talent and one eye to make sure you’re okay…now she wants to go home.
It’s all too easy to forget she’s had an evening with no man-action while you and he generated enough sexual chemistry to fuel a major city’s energy needs.
Yes he’s into you, but exchange contacts and then leave with your friend. It’s good for both of you – she finally gets to go home. Plus you’ve not dumped her to leave with him (never!). And he’ll now be keen to message you because you weren’t overly-available.
* Dating emergencies: A big part of being there for each other is with dating emergencies. Like the guy who doesn’t show up for a date. Or the guy who shows up and then gets drunk and obnoxious.
Or the guy who arrives and eyes up every other woman leaving you (or your friend) with crushed self-esteem. Or any other sort of dating emergency.
Be there for each other, meet up, talk it over, just be a support. And boost each other’s attitude that you’re better than this experience and you can learn from it.
Dr Pam’s book is at: http://tinyurl.com/nmmrs43